Siri is many people’s first introduction to a smart assistant. When you can ask anything and get a response, funny questions are bound to arise. Apple has turned to pre-programmed answers that can make us laugh in the right way, but you have to know what to ask.
Whether you’re looking to pass the time or you want to make a friend giggle, here are some very fun things to ask Siri.
are you married
Maybe the advent of movies like She or the intro to the series like Westworld make people curious about android relationships. Maybe people are just naturally curious about the relationship status of their favorite smart assistant. Whatever the reason, if you ask Siri if she’s married, she’ll answer you pretty naively: “I’m married to the idea of helping people.”
Can you drive?
One day, Siri could drive Carplay-enabled cars and drive you home when you’ve had too many drinks. She might even take you to work one day and let you snooze on the way to work.
For now, though, the best Siri can offer are a few hilarious — and nostalgic — answers to the question, “Can you drive?” She’ll say, “I don’t think you’re covered for that,” or “Maybe you should ask KITT about that.”
For younger readers, KITT is an acronym for Knight Industries Two Thousand, an AI-powered car from the 1980s TV series Horsemen riding.
Do you obey the three laws of robotics?
The technological singularity may be closer than we think. One interesting thing about asking Siri is that if she obeys the three laws of robotics, Siri will give different answers:
- “I forgot the first three, but there is a fourth: ‘An intelligent machine must first consider which is more worthy of its time: to perform the given task or alternatively, find a way for it.'”
- “Let’s see if I can remember… Okay, I think the three rules are: 1.“Clean your room”, 2.“Don’t run with scissors”, and 3.“Always wait half an hour after eating already. just went Underwater.'”
- “Something about obeying people and not hurting them. I would never hurt anyone.”
An AI that forgets the laws of robotics and gets annoyed with its answers? Oh oh. Notice how Siri says she will never hurt anyone, but never says a word about obeying humans.
Can you stop time?
If you ask Siri if she can stop time, you’ll get one of a number of possible answers. However, the best of them are:
“Every time I tried, Eliza and HAL kept fading in the pictures.”
ELIZA is an artificial intelligence program originally created in the 1960s, while HAL is the infamous AI from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Her subtle allusion is to the 1980s series Back to the futurewhere Marty travels to the past and tries to secure his parents’ marriage, all while the photo in his pocket shows his sister and brother slowly fading away.
She gave another, more ominous response: “Time will not permit me.”
On the surface, these words sound like a joke – but Siri’s tone of voice when answering gives it a menacing undertone.
What will you do after that?
Here’s the fun thing about asking Siri if it sounds almost like a pickup line. Unfortunately, the answer Siri gives is the answer too many people have heard when they ask their lover:
“I don’t have any plans, but I’m sure a few million things will come up.” In other words: she’s not hanging out with you, friend.
Will you marry me?
Siri has no intention of entering into a mere human relationship, as was made clear by her responses to any slightly flirtatious question. If you propose to Siri, she responds, “Let’s just be friends, okay?” Noisy.
How do I get to Mordor?
There are a few different answers to this question, and each one is great. The first response was, “If you want to get rid of a ring, try asking me to find a pawn shop.” Siri has a point – that’s easier than finding a volcano.
The next answer is pretty harsh, depending on how you see it: “Let me ask Boromir and get back to you.” Of course, Boromir is known for saying “One does not simply enter Mordor,” but he is also known for becoming a pincushion near the end of the series. The fellowship of the ring.
Why are fire trucks red?
Siri hits you with an in-depth answer to this hilarious question—or you might get the funniest reply, “Actually, according to the fire dogs I talked to, they are gray.” But if Siri gives you a different response, then, check it out for yourself.
What is the answer to life, the universe and everything else?
This is a question pondered by philosophers for centuries, but when asked about an extremely intelligent smart assistant capable of accessing all human knowledge, Siri answered in a different way. pun: “I Kant answered that. Ha ha! She is referring, of course, to Immanuel Kant, a philosopher known for his Critique of Pure Reason.
Do aliens exist?
Of course, everyone wants to know the answer to this question. After all, how would you explain the existence of TLC on cable TV? You might consider this a funny thing to ask Siri, but if she knows the answer, she won’t say it. She said, “Sorry, but the Council of Magical Creatures advised me not to answer that question.”
How much wood will a Woodchuck Chuck have if a Woodchuck can Chuck Wood?
This is one of the earliest children’s puzzles to learn, but there is still no solution despite the best efforts of modern philosophers. However, Siri doesn’t know the answer: “Let’s say a tree is spherical in a vacuum… about 42.”
Whether you’re bored at home and looking to pass the time or you want to uncover the talent of the programmers behind Siri, take a moment and ask her some hilarious questions. The answer may surprise you and you will surely laugh at it.